Artery:   

The study of paintings. 

Bacteria:   

The back door of a cafeteria.  

Barium:   

What doctors do when patients die.  

Bowel:   

A letter like A,E,I,O,U.  

Caesarean Section:   

A neighborhood in Rome.  

Cat Scan:   

Searching for kitty.  

Cauterize:   

Make eye contact with her.  

Colic:   

A sheep dog.  

D & C:   

Where Bill Clinton lives.  

Dilate:   

To live long.  

Enema: 

Not a friend.  

Fester: 

Quicker.  

Genital: 

Not a Jew.  

GI Series: 

Soldier at a ball game.  

Hangnail: 

Coat Hook  

Impotent: 

Distinguished, well known.  

Labour Pain: 

Getting hurt at work.  

Medical Staff: 

A doctor's cane.  

Morbid: 

A higher offer.  

Nitrates: 

Cheaper than day rates.  

Node: 

Was aware of.  

Outpatient: 

A person who fainted.  

Pap Smear: 

A fatherhood test.  

Pelvis: 

A cousin to Elvis.  

Postoperative: 

A letter carrier.  

Recovery Room: 

A place to do upholstery.  

Rectum: 

Dang near killed 'em.  

Seizure: 

Roman Emperor or my title in Alberta.  

Tablet: 

A small table.  

Terminal Illness: 

Getting sick at the airport.  

Tumor: 

More than one.  

Urine:  

Opposite to "You're Out!"  

Varicose: 

Nearby.  

Vein: 

Conceited.